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Potential Blurb for The Volunteer

Well, I got great joy from my LJ buddies when I was test-driving the blurb for my mini-collection Forever in the Memory of God and Other Stories. Many thanks, peeps, but since you've given me an inch, I'm taking the mile to which I'm entitled!

What follows is a test blurb for my forthcoming book, The Volunteer. Be warned! The blurb has a few spoilers for anyone who has yet to read The Inferior. You should be fine if you haven't read The Deserter, though.

Suggestions are welcome. There's still time!

The world is ending and everybody knows it. Countless enemies beset the shattered human tribe of ManWays, and even the Roof above their heads looks ready for the pot.
But just when doom seems certain, word reaches the people of a land free of Diggers and other monsters: a place inhabited by humans, whose leader is Stopmouth, the Chief's own brother and the vilest of traitors.
Can clever Wallbreaker lead an entire tribe across the wasteland the world has become? And will enough of them survive the journey to avenge themselves on the man who kidnapped the Chief's beloved wife, Indrani?
The Volunteer is the thrilling conclusion to the story that began with The Inferior.
Praise for The Inferior
"Absolutely incredibe [...] An exhilarating read, highly recommended and an incredible first novel in what is going to end up an incredible career." thebookfetish.org
"This is one of those ‘aw-crap-I’m-gonna-be-reading-until-the-sun-comes-up’ type of books." The Book Smugglers


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 17th, 2014 10:57 pm (UTC)
I know a way to convince him. You bring the chloroform!
Mar. 18th, 2014 09:15 am (UTC)
Failing that, just plain George Martin might be up for it.

I'd change "ready for the pot". It might be a colloquial ManWays expression but it has an optimistic overtone: ready for the pot = fit for eating. It doesn't signify DOOM. How about something like "the world-encompassing Roof is ready to collapse"?
Mar. 18th, 2014 09:21 am (UTC)
I think you're right! You speak directly to one of the doubts I was having...

And yes, there must be plenty of George Martins about the place willing to testify!
Mar. 18th, 2014 09:42 am (UTC)
This is the one I was thinking of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Martin.
Mar. 18th, 2014 09:44 am (UTC)
He is welcome to produce my books any time!
Mar. 18th, 2014 10:43 pm (UTC)
You'd have better luck with the George Martin at the University of Washington, in Seattle.
Something like this:

"Eye-catching quote!"
--George Martin
Professor Emeritus, University of Washington

So long as he actually said it, gave you permission, and was clearly albeit smally identified,
GRRM couldn't do much more than flame you in reviews.

Or maybe you could get George Marlin...
Mar. 18th, 2014 02:04 pm (UTC)
Again, I'll just put something on the porch,
and see if the cat licks it up...
Countless enemies beset the human tribe of ManWays, as shattered as the Roof above their heads. Everyone--man, woman, child--knows this much and nothing more: Their world is ending. Yet word reaches them of another world, opposite theirs and distant in every way. Stopmouth, traitorous brother of their own cheif, is said to lead a second human tribe in a land without monsters and utterly free of Diggers. Can the ever-resourceful Wallbreaker lead them across the wasteland their world once occupied? And when the sojourn is complete, will he have the strength, and a force sufficient to avenge the kidnap of Indrani, the wife once precious to him?
Mar. 18th, 2014 07:22 pm (UTC)
Ha, thanks for that. There seems to be a consensus emerging that I'm not allowed to say the Roof is ready for the pot. There's another darling that needs murdering...

Having said that, do you have an e-reader? You were the one who named Forever in the Memory of God. You earned a free copy if you have something to read it on...
Mar. 18th, 2014 10:27 pm (UTC)
The last time I tried the kindle for PC, it didn't work.

If you could send it as a pdf, I could read it in Preview.
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:10 pm (UTC)
If you provide me with an email address (via direct message, not here!), I'll send you one gladly.
Mar. 19th, 2014 06:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
Mar. 18th, 2014 05:58 pm (UTC)
Rearranged a bit just to give you some options to consider. So excited that you are working on this! Hope it is going well for you!

Everyone in the human tribe of ManWays knows their world is about to end. They are shattered from the constant attacks of their enemies and the Roof above their heads is on the verge of collapse. But just when their doom seems certain, word reaches them of a land free from their enemies and certain destruction. It is a land inhabited by humans but led by Stopmouth. He is their Chief's own brother and the vilest of traitors. Can one of their tribesman, clever Wallbreaker, lead their entire tribe across the wasteland their world has become? And will enough of them survive the journey to avenge themselves on the man who kidnapped the Chief's beloved wife, Indrani?
Mar. 18th, 2014 07:24 pm (UTC)
That looks a bit closer than mine. Thanks a lot!

Also, yes, I'm excited too! There's a cover design in progress even as we type :)
Mar. 19th, 2014 02:27 pm (UTC)
I like it, although the "ready for the pot" phrase may be a bit too much of an in-joke. I assume that people who've read so far won't need to be sold, so you may want to reconsider the phrasing. Other than that, looks good to me.
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:10 pm (UTC)
"Ready for the pot" is out out out.
Mar. 19th, 2014 09:53 pm (UTC)
Sounds good to me!
Mar. 19th, 2014 09:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Ben!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )