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Think of the Children!

At the recent World Fantasy Convention in Brighton, I was lucky enough to chat to Joe Abercrombie for a few minutes about the YA Programme for next year's WorldCon.

You all know who I'm talking about, don't you? Yes, it's that Joe Abercrombie. AKA, Lord Grimdark, the Renoir of entrails; of hopeless, bloody, foul-mouthed, sexually explicit, cackling slaughter.

Well, it turns out he's just finishing up a book for vulnerable* Young Adults.

After I spent a few moments recovering from the shock, I began to wonder what other authors out there might be writing for the younger members of our society. What if R. Scott Bakker turned his hand to producing bedtime stories? Any takers for "The Naughty Nonman"? Or Jacqueline Carey's forgotten classic for toddlers, "Hug Whom Thou Wilst"?

Who do you shudder to think is working on children's fiction and what are they writing? Answers in the comments, no more than 40 entries per person...

*Well, they will be vulnerable after they've read it.


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2013 02:38 pm (UTC)
I'm lovely, as you well know...
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2013 02:48 pm (UTC)
You will use whatever words I tell you to use or my minions will pay you a visit late at night -- and they won't be bringing presents!
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2013 02:51 pm (UTC)
I don't need to. I have slaves for that. Pebble will find your house, don't worry.
Nov. 18th, 2013 03:11 pm (UTC)
On a related note, are there naming conventions for leprechauns? Just curious.
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:49 pm (UTC)
Ha! Not that I'm aware of!
Nov. 18th, 2013 06:17 pm (UTC)
I guess I can pretty much write what I want then. Thanks. O verdosed on MIB, and NaNo is pretty much a bust, and made a quip offhandedly about writing Men in Green, which of course isatop secret organization of Leprechauns, Division Four, and... yea. I Googled Irish naming patterns first, of course. Not much data available there, either. So I may name them after spices and herbs, then. All I need is to wake up. Thank you. ;)
Nov. 18th, 2013 06:23 pm (UTC)
You could always look up Gaelic names, but I'm sure herbs would work pretty well...
Nov. 18th, 2013 06:29 pm (UTC)
Qu i te a few Irish names are herb names, too. ;) Rosemary, for example, in whatever variation. Yes, Mom's side of th e family was Irish (and German). ;)
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:50 pm (UTC)
Nov. 18th, 2013 03:03 pm (UTC)
IIRC, Judy Blume did it the other way around.
Stacks of books for teenage girls,
and then Wifey.
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:50 pm (UTC)
That must have been interesting :)
Nov. 18th, 2013 03:18 pm (UTC)
You were at the World Fantasy Convention? Did you see Susan Cooper at anything? I saw that she was honored at that this year.

There seem to be oodles of authors trying their hands at YA and children's lit these days. I mean these days you see the likes of James Patterson and Rush Limbaugh on the best seller list for YA and middle grade. Depressing!
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:51 pm (UTC)
I didn't see her, although I thought I would.

On a more positive note, I did get to talk to Tanith Lee for about 10 minutes. A real privilege to meet your childhood heroes :)
Nov. 18th, 2013 03:42 pm (UTC)
YA has a good deal of it's own grim and violent stuff. Have you read the Chaos Walking Trilogy by Patrick Ness? They're supposed to be filming it, but they'll have to tone down the violence if they want a 12A certificate.
Nov. 18th, 2013 05:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, for sure, Helen! There's a lot of awful (in a good way) stuff out there. Anything by Margo Lanagan for starters. As well as Patrick Ness, of course :)
Nov. 18th, 2013 10:21 pm (UTC)
He's not fit to lick your boots, Peadar!
Nov. 18th, 2013 10:36 pm (UTC)
Well, they're definitely gritty ;)
Nov. 18th, 2013 10:22 pm (UTC)
Now, Tanith Lee - there's a storyteller to get excited about. Would love to meet her.
Nov. 18th, 2013 10:37 pm (UTC)
I was able to tell her how much Silver Metal Lover had meant to me growing up, as well as a few others. Also, I got to shake hands with Brian Aldiss. I really felt emotional over it.
Nov. 19th, 2013 12:16 am (UTC)

"Childhood is cannibals and psychotic vomiting in your mouth!"

—Maurice Sendak
Nov. 19th, 2013 09:48 am (UTC)
Is that a real quote? Wow! So that's where the vile things are ;)
Nov. 19th, 2013 11:00 am (UTC)
I believe it is. From a conversation between him and Art Spiegelman in comic form:

Nov. 20th, 2013 07:37 pm (UTC)
Cool! Thanks for the link!
Nov. 19th, 2013 12:41 am (UTC)
Well, hmm... Let's do a quick survey of what publishers are selling kids these days. There's the wildly popular series about children and teenagers being forced to fight to the death on reality television, there's the one where children have all their memories taken away and are set loose in a deadly maze and then there's the one about two terminally ill teenagers who fall in love while waiting to see which one would die first. There's the one about the Jewish girl in Nazi Germany who steals books (I am told by my daughter that it's a really good book but everybody dies) and the one that is a booklong explanation of why a young girl was bullied into killing herself.

Apparently, Joe Abercrombie has found his audience. Because the kids of today are bloodthirsty little brutes.

And did I mention the one about a stuttering teenaged cannibal?
Nov. 19th, 2013 09:50 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's a bloody world out there for teens and no mistake! You're very advanced for a parent in actually knowing the truth!
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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